school's comp simply suckss.. i wanna dl a file frm email. they blocked it. in the other lab. its ok de. dunno why tis lab cannot. i tried 5 comps. all 5 comp all cannot. dam. hmmm.
i broken up wib him. its my decision. i think i gave myself excuses bah. even GQ keep saying dat obviously im giving him excuses. but yet he choose to believe me. so let it be nor. i dun wish to explain anymore. those who wants to noe will noe. those who dun want to noe den sure they wont noe. my friends will noe. i break not becos dat i dun love him anymore. but i want to lessen the pain im habing now. can count as im selfish bah. i let him go. becos of myself. indeed i hurt him quite alot? or abit? i dont know. who noes? a guy who kept everything to himself. probably think no ones noe wat is he thinking right now. whether is he hurt by me? i dont know. guess im too selfish le bah.
i cried lots of time. tears kept flowing down by itself. i tried not to cried ytd while walking home wib sherr. but she tok tok tok. den i start crying le. she sae im crying guard (cos i send her home). heart pain of cos i will de. heart now is dam pain. but i noe after awhile. i will be alright. we wont be back like usual le. its the past. i hab put them behind. no matter wat. i must. tis period is the time where i cry alot. reali alot. ytd finally stop crying le. after awhile. tears will start rolling down again. finally my tears stop le. but den after a while tears will roll down again. think tis continue for 4 times. so in total ytd i cried 5 times. nowonder now my eye hurts. i reali tried now to come to sch wib red eyes. not to bring those. stupid thoughts wib me. those stupid feeling i hab now to sch. i dun wanna affect my friends mood. i reali dun want. the kind of eye contact sometimes the gave me. i can feel dat they haoxiang got alot of things wanna tell me. but they jus dun wanna sae out onli. esp darling. i can sense dat. really. but now i tends to daydream alot in school. i can be happy at this moment. but the next sec. i will back to my normal mood. i guess. im habing a mask in front of me. i appear happy infront of my girls. but i think actually im not. they joke, laugh, just to make me feel happy abit. i noe de. wat they does i noe one. ytd wat sherr did. i noe. i put them in my heart to mend up the hole in my heart. thanks girls. for tis few weeks i guess i will still be moody. im sorry. if got anything jus ask me lah. dun hide it in yr heart. you wont ask me. den i wont tell you. its a deal. get it? GQ told me one thing ytd. said wat me and marr officially break liao. why must he use officially tis word. tis thing puzzle me. why cant he use other words. his reply msg. to me. he's jus waiting for me to sae out the words. jus forget it nor. wat i could sae was tis. forget it nor. i hab made tis decision. even if i regret it will onli be my secret. and someone ask him. why dont he made me stay? he jus sae. he feel weird. so jus let me go nor. so again. i said forget it nor. tis ending kind of good for him bah he can always find another girl. some one much more better den me. no need to suffer any more i guess?